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General
1. Never take a beer to an interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral.

Wine Advice
1. When decanting wine, hold the box securely, tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to bruise the essence..
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with both hands.

Entertaining in your home
1. A centerpiece for your table should not be prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

Personal Hygiene
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in private, using one's own truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can delay bathing for several days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no; it may alter the taste of finger foods.

Dating (outside the family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls two years ago."
3 Ask her parents what time she is expected back. If the answer is "Monday," it is your responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended
2. Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.

Weddings
1. Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
3. The groom should rent a tux. Wearing jeans with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt is a fashion faux pas.
4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer as well.
4. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession
 
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