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Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In
Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there
goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he
will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman
there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin
there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy
you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had
enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All
on the house."

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman ...

"But it did happen to me sister
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