Why the need for a manual safety? IMO, if you don't feel the XD is safe enough without it, you need to practice up on proper handling of a firearm. It won't go bang unless YOU pull the trigger.
If you want a 9mm compact, there is hope. What you can do is buy either the service (4") or tactical (5") model. Then you will cut the bottom of the grip so that it is just like the subcompact models. THis will effectively give you a compact 9mm. It will look and act just like the subcompact versions in terms of the magazines. You can DIY, or you can send it out to have it done (SA will not do it, however). Not terribly hard to do, but worth it to have someone else do it if you're not sure.