If you buy a P229 in .40, you can get Drop in barrels for 9mm and .357sig I believe. Never done it myself.
Recoil in the P229 in .40 is manageable. It's more than 9mm, but as with anything, after time you adapt.
I shot an IPSC match with my P239 in .40 S&W. I did fairly well. Don't fear shooting .40.