I've been reading over the "Mall Ninja" threads, about those of us who clank when we walk. Very amusing, if uncomfortably true.
But, what about your car? Is it a SurvivalMobile? In the "secret compartment" in my SUV, I've got a spare .45, a .22, small baggies of ammunition in common calibers (.22, .38, 9mm, .40, .45, .223, .308, 12g), a honkin' Cold Steel knife, multi-tool, emergency cash, fire-starters, water purifier, Clif bars, a couple of MRE's, warm clothes, flashlights, etc. etc. etc.
And you? Go ahead, confess.

