Originally Posted by
Red-5
I own a variety of calibers and my Kimber Ultra Raptor II, which is a pretty small gun has far less recoil than my Walther P99 .40. The .40 round is pretty snappy, and after shooting my usual 200 rounds, I need to give my hands a rest for a couple of days before shooting again.
Bigger doesn't always mean better. Controlling you firearm is more important. You can defend yourself with a 9 pretty darn easily, so bigger doesn't necessarily mean better.
Before jumping into the .40 because that is the smallest round you want to carry, try it compared to other rounds. Let you wife choose which she is most comfortable with. If she is not comfortable with a .40, she may never carry it and may not want to go to the range with you.