Rent, shoot, shoot some more . . . .
As you have been advised, rent and shoot a pretty good variety of weapons. The 9mm is an excellent round for shooting as well as defense when you use the proper ammo. When you rent, see if you can shoot a Stoeger Cougar 8000 in 9x19mm. It is a great value and a good shooter. Many parts are interchangable with the Beretta 92/96 series such as the mag release from and Elite II. The skelotonized hammer may also work, just don't know from experience. This is just a suggestion, I have one in .40 S&W and it's a great gun. If you shoot enough you will find your fit.