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  1. #1
    Wandering Man's Avatar
    Wandering Man is online now GM HGF Gold Member
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    Ten Dog Pet Peeves

    This was sent to me:


    Subject: TEN PEEVES DOGS HATE ABOUT HUMANS (UNCLASSIFIED)

    '1'
    Blaming your s on me.....

    not funny... not funny at all !!!

    --------------------------------------------------

    '2'

    Yelling at me for barking.

    I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

    --------------------------------------------------

    '3'

    Taking me for a walk, then

    not letting me check stuff out.

    Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

    --------------------------------------------------

    '4'

    Any trick that involves balancing
    food on my nose. Stop it!

    --------------------------------------------------
    '5'
    Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.

    Now you know why we chew your stuff

    up when you're not home.

    --------------------------------------------------

    '6'

    The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.

    You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what

    a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

    ----------------------------------------- ---------

    '7'

    Taking me to the vet for "the big snip",
    then acting surprised when I freak

    out every time we go back!

    --------------------------------------------------

    '8'

    Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
    Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

    --------------------------------------------------
    '9'

    Dog sweaters. Hello ???

    Haven't you noticed the fur?

    --------------------------------------------------

    '10'

    How you act disgusted when I lick myself.

    Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

    ---------------------------------- ----------------

    Now lay off me on some of these things.
    We both know who's boss here!

    You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

    EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
    A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCOND ITIONAL LOVE.

    CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT


    Sorry, I couldn't resist.

    WM
    Never argue with drunks or crazy people.

  2. #2
    john doe. is offline Banned
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  3. #3
    Baldy's Avatar
    Baldy is offline Senior Member
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    Talking

    ROTFLMAO!!

  4. #4
    Snowman's Avatar
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    Haven't seen this one. Very good!

  5. #5
    C. Dean is offline Junior Member
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  6. #6
    The Hillbilly's Avatar
    The Hillbilly is offline Junior Member
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    Yall forgot one. Just because Im sleeping doesnt mean Im not paying attention.

  7. #7
    OJ
    OJ is offline Junior Member
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    Excuse me - cerainly this is my chair -



    Could we wait until half time for the answer ? This is a play-off game, you know.



    Now for the better things - she holds me on her lap and has since I was a puppy.



    'Course, I guess I was a little smaller then -



    And we do have our own king-sized bed in the trailer -





  8. #8
    The Hillbilly's Avatar
    The Hillbilly is offline Junior Member
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    Got some beautiful dogs there sir. Just imagine the mess that comes out the back end. OUCH. Hate to have to pick that up if they make an accident.

  9. #9
    Baldy's Avatar
    Baldy is offline Senior Member
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    With beauties like that I would have to live out in the country. Never been around any but I hear they are gentle giants untill you get them mad.

  10. #10
    OJ
    OJ is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Hillbilly View Post
    Got some beautiful dogs there sir. Just imagine the mess that comes out the back end. OUCH. Hate to have to pick that up if they make an accident.
    With beauties like that I would have to live out in the country. Never been around any but I hear they are gentle giants until you get them mad.
    Thanks for the kind words - there are no accidents - all that is done is done on purpose and we have a half acre fenced in lot - mostly wooded and zoned for rustic so we don't have cleanup to do. They never get mad at anybody but each other - little sister gets peeved at big bro but he is smart and just gets even with her - fascinating to watch.





    We've had Mastiffs for some 2 - 3 decades and used to show them but tired of the show game and now just keep them and love'em. Have some champions and obedience titles on those in past and all get daily obedience training daily all their lives - necessary for animals that large and makes better pets all our visitors appreciate. They really are a joy.


  11. #11
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    Nothing better than a brindle coat on a dog...


  12. #12
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    I've got responses right back for all of them.

    1. If it smells that bad, yes, you're getting blamed.
    2. Stop barking at the wooden parrot. It's been sitting there for two weeks and hasn't moved, so there's no reason to bark.
    3. The last time I let you check something out, it happened to be cat poop and you ate it, then licked me. Come along.
    4. I've never asked you to do this.
    5. A neckerchief can't be all that bad.
    6. Not that proud, but funny to watch you search under every couch cushion for it.
    7. The "big snip" kept you from bleeding everywhere twice a year. If you think I'm mad when you pee pee on the carpet, be glad you're not bleeding.
    8. Yes you have mastered the handshake thing.
    9. Maybe not a sweater but certainly a raincoat since you won't go out when it's raining.
    10. Yes I'm jealous, but do it while I'm asleep and can't see you.


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