Not to seem impertinent, but what other guns have you tried?
A couple of things:
Small pocket pistols in small calibers are harder to actuate the slides on that somewhat larger guns in more powerful calibers. Why? Your thinking, "that doesn't make any sense."

Let me explain:
Itty bitty little mouse guns chambered in .380 or less are most of the time designed as a straight blowback design. By this I mean that the force of the cartridge when fired is simply held back by spring pressure and the weight of the slide alone. Generally speaking this requires a very strong spring to perform this function safely. Then complicate things with a hard to hold, tiny little slide.
Larger calibers are generally (though there are some notable exceptions) a delayed blowback design. Typically involving locking lugs and other such design details to hold the initial force of the cartridge firing and "delaying" the cycling of the slide. This delay comprises microseconds so it's not really noticeable to the shooter except as maybe being somewhat less harsh than the alternative. And of course, bigger guns are simply easier to grab hold of.
Why the explanation? Because I wanted to justify my recommendation that you seek something larger that the itty bitty little pistol you currently seeking.
If you haven't tried one, check into a Sig P238. Single action, locking breech design. Sounds like it would be right up your alley. If not that, or something similar, a compact (or possibly a sub compact) 9 mm of some sort.
Also worth noting. Racking the slide on a semi-auto is less about outright strength than technique. My wife has been the recipient of multiple surgeries on her arms and wrists. So, she has some issues with arm and wrist strength. While not without some effort, she can cycle most slides without undue drama. Instead of trying to pull on the slide, try holding the slide and pushing with the gun. I know, it sounds stupid, but it makes a difference. I also strongly recommend you seek out a female firearms instructor. IMHO, good, targeted-to-your-needs training may open up all sorts of options for you.