The thing with small autos is that they can be very finicky, everything has to be just right in order for them to work correctly. You don't seem to mind having lesser capacity given your list, if you want a .45 I'd heavily suggest the Glock 30 or 36, in 9mm the Glock 26. If you've carried a Glock 22 and DE, you might even find a G19 or 23 to be small enough to make for a great carry gun. While I'm not a Glock fan, the G19 and G23 are probably two of the best carry guns available, they are the perfect size / capacity IMHO. I'd also take a look at the HK P2000SK or even the P2000.
I'd shy away from the pocket guns, while a small revolver still offers a decent size grip, the pocket autos such as the CM9, LCP etc just don't have as much to hang on to. Also, with most of those guns you will not get the nice trigger and sight system that you list in your likes.
I've got a bunch of smaller .380s in the Colt and Sig variety and have had a Kahr PM40 and while they are nice when concealment is the bigger priority they don't offer as much as a larger firearm in terms of the things that make for a good primary carry where actual usage of the handgun is the primary concern.