This should help.

Urban Dictionary.com

So thats a MALL NINJA.
We have 2 at our club. They TALK a good shoot but could'nt hit the side of a barn at 5ft.
fusil

Originally Posted by fusil

So thats a MALL NINJA.
We have 2 at our club. They TALK a good shoot but could'nt hit the side of a barn at 5ft.
fusil

The "BUZZ" word for mall ninjas is TACTICAL!

Here you go.
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

http://www.myspace.com/tacticalsecurityenforcer

Originally Posted by fusil

Hi guys,
I might be asking a stupid question BUT....What are the following,

MALL NINJA?
ZOMBIE GUN?
SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL?

I've read the above in the forum and in Guns & Ammo Mag, which I get sent over here. The French guys at the range love it, but I spend most of my time translating it.
Many thanx,
fusil

MALL NINJA: Any former Dungeons and Dragons player who has grown up to now own firearms... Usually carries up to four weapons, at least one gun and one knife, often a BUG (Back-up-gun), and an extendable baton. This isn't so bad... except he usually is decked out in 5.11 Tactical Gear (a clothing manufacturer for para-military types and SWAT teams). Often seen un public (malls) wearing sunglasses inside, tactical clothing, combat boots, a buzz-cut, and "casually" scanning the magazine rack reading "Soldier of Fortune" magazine, but in fact is doing his own covert surveilance for domestic terrorists among the crowd at the book store, and across the hall, at the coffee shop. He is suspicious of everyone, and everything, and though he has NO formal training, is convinced he can handle anything up to and including a large gang, with his three guns, two knives, and the martial arts he's read about, and practiced extensively in front of You Tube. He often owns a collection of throwing knives and throwing stars, frequently reads up on home-made suppressors, pipe bombs, and other weapons he'll need for "after the apocalypse/invasion" that has built his kitchen, as he does not have a garage. He rarely goes to the range and practices, as he's sure that if he uses his real "techniques" that he has developed himself in front of his mirror, that someone will "out" him as a one-man covert tactical defense force. When he does go, he typically shoots only silouettes, and no bullseyes, and typically never inside 15 yards (too easy). He will typically douse a few targets with a mag-full of bullets, and comfortable he's gotten at least three hit on the target, pats himself on the back for having a higher hit-percentage than the NYPD (who are most often shooting at targets that shoot back). He will then retreat to his 12 year-old Toyota sedan, and head back to his apartment to clean his guns, and his knives, and his Oakley sunglasses. Before bed, he makes another "Product Test" video for You Tube, cleans his guns again after shooting the video, and then goes to bed... with 4 guns within reach, in case the invasion comes TONIGHT!!!

ZOMBIE GUN: Any weapon with the sole purpose of suppression of the un-dead when they appear at your house to eat your brains... And I said WHEN, not IF. Usually an AR-15 variant with at least 20 full mags, or a 12 gauge tactical shotgun with a mag tube extension, side-saddle shell holder, breaching barrel, and a folding stock, for when they get in really, really close...

SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL: Any handgun worth less than the covercharge to the club into which is carried. Usually 22, 25, or 32 caliber. Usually 2-7 shot capacity. Usually more reliable when used as a thrown object.

Hope this helps...

JeffWard

Originally Posted by Todd

Here you go.
http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

What a tool.

From reading some of that stuff I've got to ask, is it possible he was actually having a little fun with everyone else? I mean could anyone possibly have that severe a case of Barney Fife Syndrome?

Originally Posted by Wyatt

From reading some of that stuff I've got to ask, is it possible he was actually having a little fun with everyone else?

Of course, it's also possible there's more than one person portraying the same character throughout the internet.

Originally Posted by Wyatt

What a tool.

From reading some of that stuff I've got to ask, is it possible he was actually having a little fun with everyone else? I mean could anyone possibly have that severe a case of Barney Fife Syndrome?

Sadly im sure there are some idiots out there that are like that.

LMAO!!!!

Man..I see people like that pretty often around the ranges. Looking like Rambo and can't hit the broad side of their rumps. Not that it would matter. The gear they are wearing will prevent unsightly rump loss. I talked to a guy at a range one day that informed me of his high stress job guarding a self storage place. Man was he cool!

I'd like to see that Gecko45 guy putting on his gear and holding the plates to protect his fragile head running to the waiting Ford Escort/Toyota Camry where his wife waited with the Glocks loaded and ready to go in some thigh holsters. "Boy I'm glad I have these babies! We might just make it home tonight sweety..Now Drive damnit drive!!"

...someday...When I grow up...ah..Who am I kidding..I'll never be cool like that

...ummm..Shrine of the Mall Ninja..Don't that sound liek a cool ass flung poo..i mean kung fu movie?

Your kung fu is good..But I WILL defeat you. we must kungfu fight!!

Originally Posted by DevilsJohnson

...someday...When I grow up...ah..Who am I kidding..I'll never be cool like that

Dare to dream!

I went and read the thread Todd linked to. What a piece of work. Amazing. I'm guessing that Gecko45 is the real deal, and Specops was a skilled provocateur. It was all Internet art, though. September never ends on the Web!

To this day, one of the funniest reads ever to grace the internets.


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