First, welcome to the forum!
My suggestion would be to first take a basic pistol course. There you will learn safety, shooting techniques, etc. that your husband and friends are unable to teach you (then you can teach them!). Secondly, I'd go to a range that rents guns and try a few out and go with what you like. I'd suggest a 9mm since you're a new shooter and the recoil on a 9mm is pretty manageable, if you want an auto. In terms of makes and models, there's a ton of choices and everybody has their favorites. Some of the more popular, reliable, and affordable brands are brands are Springfield Armory XD line, Glock, Smith & Wesson M &P line. Ruger also makes some solid, affordable guns. If you would like a revolver, which have some definite advantages to a new shooter since they are a bit easier to learn, then I'd suggest a .38. But like I said, you need to hold them and shoot them to decide. I like to say guns are like shoes, one size does not fit all and what is good for one person is not good for another.
Also, be sure to get some sort of safe that allows you quick access to the gun but will keep your baby out once he starts crawling, walking, and getting into everything (I'm at the stage right now with my 2nd son).