No way to answer for either of you. The reason is that hand size and perceived recoil are different for everyone. I'm batting .500 for picking guns for my wife. The first was a S&W 432 PD (which she fondled at the local candy store first) that she likes to shoot. The second (I, the all-knowing king of all things gunish) picked without her input...WRONG! It was a Kahr P9. Great gun, she just didn't care for the trigger or recoil.
Our next venture is for her to shoot first, then buy. That's what I suggest you do. Both of you need to go to the shops and hold as many as you can just to get a feel for each one. Once you've narrowed it down, go to a local range and rent them or ask around to see if friends have any of the ones you are considering.
Finally, and this is the hard part for me, shut up and let her pick. If she doesn't like everything about it she won't shoot it and you've wasted time and money and shown her you don't value her opinion.