View Poll Results: Should I take action?

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  • No: You may be overreacting

    3 15.00%
  • Yes: You should take action.

    17 85.00%
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  1. #1
    Ronald1214 is offline Junior Member
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    Need Advice from Responsible handgun owners...

    Hello!
    I joined this forum to get some advice from experienced gun owners. I do not own a gun, however my father in law purchased a handgun several years ago, and I believe has a carry and conceal licence. I support his decision to protect himself since he has been in situations he felt he was powerless from a threat...However last weekend during a family vacation out of town, he showed me he had brought the gun (in his coat) with him. Later, I noticed he didn't have the coat on anymore, and so I looked around and found the gun was still in his coat in his room (in the closet). There were five children in the same room (three of mine...age 3, 6, and 9) and my niece and nephew (7 and 12). Back in the living room I asked him if it was loaded...he said of course (or something along those lines). I asked the rest of the adults in the room if they were ok with the situation (my wife, mother in law, sister in law and brother in law). Nobody said a thing, if fact my father in law seemed a bit peeved I had even asked the question (in his defense, nobody wants confrontation on a vacation). However, in the end, the gun remained loaded, in a coat and in the closet the rest of the vacation. This is the third time I have had concern about the gun...Once it was on the counter in his kitchen, and a few weeks ago he had misplaced it and didn't know where it was. My question....Should I be concerned about the gun, and refuse to allow my kids to visit his house until he can prove it is safely away from the kids....Or am I overreacting to a normal situation? Sorry so long of a post...

    Ron

  2. #2
    Holly's Avatar
    Holly is offline Member
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    Those are YOUR children and he is being very irresponsible around them. Talk with him, and if he does not change his ways, keep your children away until he does.

  3. #3
    chessail77's Avatar
    chessail77 is offline Senior Member
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    Gun ownership carries with it certain responsibilities and he is not performing them ....JJ

  4. #4
    denner's Avatar
    denner is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with Holly, many states have laws against leaving a loaded firearm where children may have access to it. A no, no, this may be off the point but do you know what type of firearm it is? Some pistols are more dangerous than others when loaded, but any pistol that children may have access to while loaded is always dangerous and very irresponsible in my opinion. It sounds also that your wife and in laws have a very different perspective regarding firearm safety.

  5. #5
    45Sidekick's Avatar
    45Sidekick is offline Member
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    agree with everyone, he needs to take a little responsibility and lock in a drawer or safe or whatever, after he unloads and clears the gun if there's children snooping around. now dont get me wrong a unloaded gun is as useful as a rock whenever you need it, but you dont want anyone's kids (especially yours) playing cops and robbers with grandpa's loaded pistol. NOT SAFE!!!

  6. #6
    MoMan's Avatar
    MoMan is offline Member
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    Definately needs to rethink his gun ownership responsibilities! I know if this was my Family and it were the same situation there is no way I would allow my kids anywhere near this place.
    There is a powerful amount of responsibilty that goes along with owning a firearm of any kind!

  7. #7
    TedDeBearFrmHell's Avatar
    TedDeBearFrmHell is offline Senior Member
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    and perhaps your father-in-law feels that you are fun to mess with ..... if you were in my house or on a trip with me, i would tell you that every gun was loaded (even the unloaded ones) and then i would place them strategically around the area so that you would find them at every turn. then i would watch you frantically worry and try to garner support for your campaign. but thats just me.

    now i ask this ..... if you were so worried about the gun, why did you and your children stay?
    why didnt you leave the dangerous area immediately? why didnt you make the gun safe?
    would you be joining a forum if this were about a chainsaw? or a carving knife?

  8. #8
    TedDeBearFrmHell's Avatar
    TedDeBearFrmHell is offline Senior Member
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    btw, at the age of 3 my daughter and nieces and nephews had already been around guns for 3 years and were being taught not to ever touch without permission, the older children in your group would already be shooting and probably would have their first rifle.

    but then again, i come from a gun family and as of this very minute, we have never had an issue involving children, guns or gun safety.....

  9. #9
    Holly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedDeBearFrmHell View Post
    would you be joining a forum if this were about a chainsaw?
    Totally off topic...

    My three-year-old tripped over a chainsaw in a family member's vehicle and was injured. I would be just as concerned about a chainsaw lying around.

  10. #10
    TedDeBearFrmHell's Avatar
    TedDeBearFrmHell is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Totally off topic...

    My three-year-old tripped over a chainsaw in a family member's vehicle and was injured. I would be just as concerned about a chainsaw lying around.
    then i will shut up..... looks like i am the minority here on this one

  11. #11
    45Sidekick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedDeBearFrmHell View Post
    then i will shut up..... looks like i am the minority here on this one
    nah not really but in his case (i assume) that his children are not familiar with handling guns, or know that they are so unsafe. now this is an assumtion so bare with me, on that note I'd totally agree with him. unless he has a father-in-law like you, setting traps for your pleasure of other peoples paranoia. now i grew up around guns as a kid as well, i was taught better than to fool with one unless allowed, but i cant knowingly say the same for the op's children. but in any case i would never recommend leaving loaded guns in accessability of a child unless supervised or the child knows that they will not be able to walk right after the whipping they will receive.

  12. #12
    cclaxton's Avatar
    cclaxton is offline Member
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    It is a mistake confront someone about a criticism in public or in front of others.....discussing it privately allows the person to save face and allows you to think about how you want to give the person feedback and tell him how you want his behavior to change. I would have said something like, "I am not comfortable with the way you store your handgun where the kids could find it. I would feel better if you would keep it in a gun vault or safe place so there is no chance of a kid finding it. This can just stay between us." The key is that it should be a friendly and unemotional conversation.

    This approach allows him to save face, allows you to tell him what you want, and for you to own that you are the one uncomfortable, and even if he balks at the suggestion, lets him know where you stand. (This puts subtle pressure on him to be more careful.)

    If you don't see the behavior change after some time, then try again in private.

    If YOU are the one still uncomfortable, then you need to tell him you don't want to visit because of it or he cannot visit your house with his handgun.

    All of those things you have under your control, and that is the only person you can control...yourself.
    CC

  13. #13
    ponzer04's Avatar
    ponzer04 is online now Member
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    I agree with most of what Teddebearfrmhell has to say. When i was growing up my grandfather always had loaded rifles and shotguns on racks above our heads and a loaded ruger 357 and ruger 22 revolver under his bed, I knew this and never touched them till i was told i could.

    Even if your father in law has a ccl i don't agree with him having a loaded gun in his coat pocket in a hotel coat rack. that is a common area that sees a lot of traffic on vacations that to me isn't a good place to have a gun I may be mistaken on the hotel. if you were at your father in laws and the coat was in his room in his closet the kids would have no reason to be in there and thus it isn't an unreasonable place for a gun.

    there is no reason to misplace a loaded or unloaded firearm

  14. #14
    FNISHR is offline Member
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    I agree with Holly's first post completely. I sort of agree with her about the chainsaw as well, but I cannot equate that with leaving a loaded gun around where small children might come across it.

    I think I'd start by teaching my children about guns. Somewhere soon, though, I'd have another quiet talk with the father in law.

  15. #15
    ponzer04's Avatar
    ponzer04 is online now Member
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    That chainsaw in the back of my aunts car did more damage than the loaded guns at my grandparents to four kids, 9 grandkids, and 5 great grandkids. Just sayin

  16. #16
    JerryMac's Avatar
    JerryMac is offline Junior Member
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    I have to agree with TedD / i would have removed myself and my children from the situation, well, no, i think i would have made the gun safe n told him he cold have it back but not the ammo untill vacation was over, course i can kick my father in laws ass, but in that spot, your kids safety comes first.......

    Never argue with an idiot - they'll bring you down to their level then beat you with experience.

  17. #17
    500Benz is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by TedDeBearFrmHell View Post
    and perhaps your father-in-law feels that you are fun to mess with ..... if you were in my house or on a trip with me, i would tell you that every gun was loaded (even the unloaded ones) and then i would place them strategically around the area so that you would find them at every turn. then i would watch you frantically worry and try to garner support for your campaign. but thats just me.

    now i ask this ..... if you were so worried about the gun, why did you and your children stay?
    why didnt you leave the dangerous area immediately? why didnt you make the gun safe?
    would you be joining a forum if this were about a chainsaw? or a carving knife?
    This is very misguided my friend.

    First off, we must assume the gun is loaded. Its safter to assume the gun is loaded than hes messing with the guy

    Second, how irresponsible. if hes carrying he should have it on him at all times OR NOT AT ALL.

    Thirdly, even if kids were taught about guns properly, you cannot have any real expectation this will prevent an accident. Children are children. plus how do u know the other nephews and nieces have the same training

    the father in law is WRONG.
    This is the reason they wanna take our guns from us is because of DBAGS like this old moron.

  18. #18
    berettatoter's Avatar
    berettatoter is offline Senior Member
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    No, you are not overreacting in my humble opinion. I have two CC permits, and carry 95% of every day. Notice I said "I carry", and not "I leave" my gun somewhere unattended. The safest place for my carry gun is either on me or locked up. (Most certainly if there are children around) JMHO.

  19. #19
    sgms is offline Member
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    TedDeBear you are not in the minority here, I was raised that way as were my kids. Unfortunately they have decided not to raise their children that way.(daughter in law raised by very liberal ejumicators that don't think even the police should have guns) So I do what I can to teach the grandkids when they are here but, I will not leave a loaded gun anywhere other than on me(pocket carry around the house). There really is danger having kid running around that do not understand what a gun is and what they can do to themselves and others with it. All I can do is try to teach and keep them safe as I can.

  20. #20
    zebramochaman is offline Member
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    IMO safety is first when it comes to firearms. From what I gather from your post, your children and perhaps the other children present have not grown up with guns and have not been properly schooled in that discipline. If I were presented with this situation I would not allow my children to be in that environment since at the time my kids were growing up, I did not have a clue about the world of firearms and neither did they.
    It is a totally different story if a child is brought up in an environment where guns are the norm.

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