You may want to look into a Glock Model G42 which has a trigger pull of about 5.5 lbs. The Glock is about as simple as it can be to fire and use, every pull of the trigger is of the same weight and there are no safeties to fumble around with in an emergency situation. Recoil is a very subjective thing. What maybe heavy to you may be mild to me. I certainly would not recommend anything less than a .380 for self defense. Don't even think about a .32ACP. Even the .380 is marginally adequate for that purpose especially if the assailant is pumped up on drugs/pain killers. They may not even realize that they've been shot and live long enough to grab your gun and turn the tables on you.
You really should at least consider a 9mm. in a larger and heavier gun as the recoil and trigger weight would be just about the same. It is also much easier to grab and rack the slide on a larger pistol. Remember the smaller the gun the more difficult it is to shoot and control in both the 9mm and .380 calibers. Not only that but a larger gun holds more rounds.
But before you do anything I'd suggest you enroll in a firearms/defensive handgun course and try shooting/handling different types of guns before deciding which is best for you. Only you can be the judge of that.