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  1. #1
    Gr8bald1 is offline Junior Member
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    Best way to get wife's approval?

    I am brand new to this forum. But, already own three shotguns a 12, 20, & 28 for skeet shooting) and two 22's (a lever action rifle & a semi-auto pistol).

    I am consideriing getting a relvolver, primarily for home defense. The question is: How do I tactfully 1) inform the wife? and 2) get her approval? She is not anti gun, but may object to a handgun in the house.
    Reason: Burglaries in the area
    My age: 64 w/no little kids in the home.

    Any and all suggestions, counsel, and advice is appreciated.

    John
    San Diego

  2. #2
    dosborn's Avatar
    dosborn is offline Member HGF Gold Member
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    First off, welcome to HGF!!

    The fact that you are 64 (old enough to be responsible) and don't have any little kids running around, it shouldn't be too much of an issue. Have you discussed it at all with her?

    Remind her that you already have guns and one of them is a pistol. This is just a different one

    I think the shotguns could be just as dangerous in the wrong hands.


    Also, start off by telling her how much you love her. "hey baby, you know I realy love you, right?"

  3. #3
    chris441's Avatar
    chris441 is offline Member
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    this one is easy, just sell one of the 22s and replace it with the revolver! She will never know the difference!!!


    I had a similar situation with my wife. We had no guns and I wanted a pistol. I just kept doing research learning about firearms, leaving the internet pages up. Looking up crime info, leaving the internet pages up. And kept talking about which guns I was going to buy. I took a handgun safety course and kept going to the range to shoot. Eventually she came around....well maybe she knew I was going to do what I wanted anyways so she gave in....but one day we are sitting in the back yard and she says "you can get the gun if I can have a bow and arrow". I was like, what the hell? My wife never ever talked about archery before and this was out of the blue and completely out of character, but I went in the house, ordered the handgun online, then got in the car and headed to Dicks Sporting Goods a bought her a bow.

    now she did get a little pissed when I bought the 2nd gun without telling her.....

  4. #4
    dondavis3's Avatar
    dondavis3 is offline Senior Member
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    Good advise already posted.

    But I'd say you feel a strong responsibility to protect her and your self .

    With all the rececent crime around you -

    You have been looking into self denfense classes for both of you.

    And thinking of getting both of you a gun and some training.

    And also going to the range and practicing.

    All true and sound thinking.

    Good luck.


  5. #5
    zetti1 is offline Member
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    While I have guns in the house, my wife never considered learning how to shoot until a rash of burglaries. She now understands the need for protection and is willing to go to the range with me. While she has not done it yet, it is a step in the right direction. I suggest emphasizing the need to be prepared for her sake as well as for you.

  6. #6
    terese70 is offline Junior Member
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    My father-in-law just purchased a revoler about 2 months ago for the same reasons you stated. He is 62. He took my mother-in-law with him as he looked into the purchase and she learned right along with him. By including her in the process she was ready when he made his purchase. We also include her when we go out to the range. We all went just yesterday and she had a ball!! Good luck .

  7. #7
    buck32's Avatar
    buck32 is offline Member
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    Welcome from Big Sky Country. Good suggestions listed above. Let us know how it turns out.

  8. #8
    Gr8bald1 is offline Junior Member
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    Follow Up

    Thanks to those that made suggestions.

    After I did some reading and talking with my local police supply dealer, I got up my courage and told her I was seriously considering buying a hnadgun. Although not, "That will make our home safer" enthusism, she did listen to my reasons. I kept her in the process, revolver vs pistol, used vs new, caliber, Handgun Safety Certificate, future training, safety, and the fact that all of my other shotguns and 22 (and ammunition) have always been stored safely and separately.

    I let her know that I settled on a nice used 357/38 special revolver. I pick it up next Feb 2.

    John

  9. #9
    yzfrider is offline Junior Member
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    Couple of drinks and you should be fine.

  10. #10
    Tucker's Avatar
    Tucker is offline Junior Member
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    Since you already have one, just go ahead and buy your handgun. She will not know the difference unless she goes to where you keep them and count them, does she? And if she sees it, just say you've had it for a while but never really had a chance to think of it until now.

    If you are one of those couples that ask one another's permission to buy something you like, well...you got problems.

    My husband usually comes home with a box from a computer store. I do not ask too many questions because he like to think of himself as a tech guy...I let him be. When it comes to handguns or guns, we go together because we both carry and love our guns. One day he came home and I asked him how his day was and he said "I bought a gun." I said....lemmeeseeee! It was a rifle.then tried to explain the parts and the history of it and how it works. He knows I will not be interested ....ha! I just wished he'd let me come along...I like gun stores...

    .

  11. #11
    cruzthepug's Avatar
    cruzthepug is offline Member
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    I usually go by the old saying...

    "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than approval"

  12. #12
    falchunt's Avatar
    falchunt is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruzthepug View Post
    I usually go by the old saying...

    "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than approval"

    ROFL....I love it, you mind if I steal that cruz?

  13. #13
    Bisley's Avatar
    Bisley is offline Senior Member
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    Start out by telling her (not asking) that you are thinking about enrolling both of you in a self defense class and buying handguns. If she 'bows up,' tell her that, of course, she doesn't have to participate if she doesn't want to, but you intend to go ahead with it for yourself. Let all of this sink in for a few days to see if she is going to weaken, and if not, move along to Plan B.

    If none of this has shown any promise, or if she just throws a wall-eyed fit at the mention of it, then just go ahead and do it anyway, and don't tell her. It is your obligation to protect the family, whether or not she can be made to understand. Just make sure you don't make any mistakes, if you elect to go it alone (safety blunders, etc.).

    When she eventually finds out, she will forgive you, after laying a guilt trip on you for the customary time period. Her curiosity will eventually require that you give a demonstration of your ability, so become as expert as you possibly can, and be sure to provide her with adequate ear protection. Once you get to this point, you can probably get her to shoot...so make damn sure it is a fun experience for her, and keep the target close enough that she can hit it, right away.

    Just my opinion, of course. But I have been married to the same fine woman for nearly 37 years, and I could get away with this.

  14. #14
    BRAD is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruzthepug View Post
    I usually go by the old saying...

    "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than approval"
    I concur. At age 64, you old enough to do what you want. Just go buy the gun.

  15. #15
    recoilguy's Avatar
    recoilguy is offline Senior Member
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    Bring her with while you shop and ask for her input. Immediate buy in and she will see al the thught you put in it.

    Otherwiswe buy it, you are 64. She know you are responsible by now.

    RCG

  16. #16
    kg333's Avatar
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    It's easy to go along with the "don't tell her" argument, but IMO, it'd probably be better to get to get something along the lines of consent, even if it's just "you're going to the gun store today, aren't you? *hmmph". Besides, since you've got a pistol already, no reason to go looking for trouble where there might not be any.

    KG

    EDIT: Missed your update in there...sounds like she was quite reasonable about it anyway.

  17. #17
    egliderider is offline Junior Member
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    It's usually easy to beg forgiveness than to get "Permission", at least that's what my 43 years of marriage has shown.

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