How to convince wife to let me keep a handgun?
Hi. I am new to the forum but no stranger to guns. Me and my wife are somewhat new to this country (we are originally from pakistan) and we have recently purchased a subway restaurant. We have to work sometimes late into the night and the place has been robbed before we purchased it. The problem is my wife is extremely anti gun (which is not surprising because she has seen far too many people die because of them) and wont hear of me keeping one however i think its a necessity in our situation considering the amount of cash we keep in the store and the kind of crowd we deal with. Any advice would be appreciated.
Frankly, I don't know what to tell you because there is no formula that if you do or say something, then someone who is anti-gun will turn. If that was the case, we wouldn't have to deal with the Bradys.
You may want to look up crime rates in your state and show your wife. Also try explaining to her how important it is you to be able to protect your investment and also your lives. I'm going to guess that getting here to the US and staring your own business wasn't easy, so you should be able to defend the new life you're starting. I just hope that it doesn't take looking down the barrel of a gun to make your wife realize that there are lots of not-so-nice people out there that will a) try to take what you have worked so hard for because they are too lazy to work themselves and b) may or may not have a problem killing you after they have taken what they want because they don't want to leave a witness.
You don't indicate what city and state you live in. That will make a big diffrence as to how you need to deal with this. I guess first I will say that sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do when it comes to diffrences in a marrage. You will need to figure out how to get her use to the idea nicely while putting your foot down (taking charge) at the same time. I would feel the same as you were I closing up at night and had large amounts of cash to deal with.
Getting back to my first sentance: The laws of your state and city will determine just what you can do as far as a gun of any type is concerned. Here in Colorado (except in Denver) you can carry a loaded pistol in your car in any manner you wish. We also have the Castle law which means you have the right to defend yourself in your home or car with up to and including deadly force if you can demonstrate that you felt your life was threatened. I would strongly suggest that you start with and stay in the letter of the laws of your city and state.
- Ask your wife if she prefers to have you armed and alive, or unarmed and dead.
- Then start taking defensive-pistol lessons from a reputable teacher, and bring her along so she can see for herself that you are learning defense, not offense.
- Keep reminding her of the old movie line (from Shane) that "a gun is only a tool": a tool for saving your life...and maybe hers, too.
We live in fort lauderdale,FL. If i was in a situation where i was being robbed i know i certainly wont try to be a hero and save the money at hand however i have heard of situations times again and again where even if you cooperate with robbers they end up taking your life afterwards because sometimes they worry that they can be identified later on. We had a gas station owner here who was recently was murdered in cold blood (his execution was recorded on his gas station's video camera) who was killed after handing over all the cash from his safe. Its those times that im concerned about
Originally Posted by Steve M1911A1
Knowledge and exposure can be powerful tools.
If you find that you enjoy shooting in the process of getting your own training, then you may find it helpful to take your wife. Make sure she wears double ear protection - ear plugs PLUS a headset.
The noise at the range could be a deterrant, so you want her as comfortable as possible. If you invite her to shoot, make sure she starts with a .22 caliber revolver, something that is realtively quiet and won't jerk in her hand and startle her.
Find a friend who is knowledgable and who has some credibility with your wife, and let him/her help you through the decisions.
Never argue with drunks or crazy people.
Florida has some good gun law. I'd start with an NRA pistol class and take the wife with you. It is a really good introduction and should calm a few of her fears. If you don't have a pistol a good many classes have loaners. Contact the instructor and see. If you can, apply for a conceald carry permit once you pick up your new pistol. Learn all you can about the safe and correct use of it. Carrying a pistol is a huge responsibility so take some time to really consider what it is all about. It is easy to get in to a macho thinking pattern....Do a reality check on your conceived thoughts and really do a self checkup to make sure your head is on streight.
Are you a US citizen? If not you need to check on the laws regarding owning a gun. If you do have to shoot someone you want to make sure you are legally covered.
Im a permanent resident/green card holder. I was told by my immigration attorney i can pretty much do everything except for vote but i will contact him and ask regarding the legality of the concealed carry permit.
Originally Posted by Brevard
I think contacting the county's Sheriff's office would be just as good (not sure how your attorney applies fees). In my experience, law enforcement goes the extra mile for local businesses whenever they can. They'll be able to tell you what you can or can't do.
Originally Posted by desibaba
As far as the wife goes.... hell.... I'm not even married. Take what advise you can from the other guys here and uh...Good luck!
Quote <I think contacting the county's Sheriff's office would be just as good >
I remember when i was applying for my gun purchase permit at the local police station there was a question regarding status (i forgot the exact wording but as far as I remember it asked whether you are a US citizen or a legal alien, something of that sort)..So my assumption is that if they have such a question in the purchase permit application, then the local police office would be able to answer the question if you are elligible to purchase or not..Lawyers all what they care for is to add the charges on your bill (not saying that you need them but if there is a valid free alternative, use it and check with your local police station).
Owning a weapon and having it in your place of business is the easy part. Question is: are you mentally ready to use it and be willing to take someone elses life? If you are not, then don't even think about having a gun in your shop. Hire a security guard at night, heck they are cheap.
That's pretty good advice.
Originally Posted by dovehunter
I also think that taking a NRA defense and safety class would be a great idea. Hopefully you can explain that you are not wanting to be John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. Just a man that want's to protect you and yours. There is nothing wrong with being armed as long as you take the time to learn the hows, whens, and whys to have and use a hand gun. I also believe that bringing the wife along to show you are not over reacting maybe she will get a little warmer on the idea.
remind her that the police while doing as best they can are more often going to be getting on the scene after the crime has been committed. In other words they sort the mess out after it's happened. It's rare and just blind luck for police to be there just when the bad deed is playing out.
All of this hinges on what are your options being your status in the country. You are a permanent resident you said but not a citizen. A call to the local sheriffs office can sort that out though.
Edit to add: I looked at the laws posted on this site to look at laws form several states. My home state as well as a few others that I looked at all say you must be a U.S. citizen. Fla does not have any reference to that. It would seem that if one had to be a citizen that they would add it to thew law. Makes me think you might be able to get a weapon for what you propose. But I'd still call local sheriff or state police.
I have been searching the net. I can't find anything about Fla. Maryland says no though according to Wiki answers..Good thing you didn't pick there to live I guess I'll keep looking but I'd say a call can clear it up faster.
I happened on a web site that has laws of all 50 states. Fla does not say they need you to be a citizen and several others I looked at actually said straight out that you did. So maybe you can. I'd still call state or county police though and get the story from those that are paid to know.
Link to site I i used as reference Click Here
Last edited by DevilsJohnson; 02-26-2009 at 04:36 AM.
Reason: added info.
Read this book. It is available at virtually any gun shop. All the pertinate Fla laws will be covered. My copy is a few years old and was $22 at that time.
"Florida Firearms: Law, Use, & Ownership". It was written by Jon H. Gutmacher, Esq.
The author is a lawyer, and an N.R.A. Certified firearms instructor. The book is used by 80 law enforcemrnt agencies and 7 Fla police acadamies. (Their words)
That said, I beleive that the state will allow you to buy a hand gun. If so, you may keep it in your business, and home. Even without a C.C.W., Florida allows you to to transport it in your vehicle as long as: 1. It is out of sight. 2. Not on your person. 3. Is encased. It may be loaded.
As far as getting aproval from your wife..........well good luck. Keep an eye out for news articles that feature civilian use of hand guns for personal protection. Show them to the Mrs.
By the way....Welcome to the U.S.A. and from Pinellas County (near St. Petersburg).
In addition to all of the above, check out the website www.corneredcat.com. This site is directed to a woman's point of view regarding handguns and carrying concealed. You might find something in there that your wife can relate to. Good luck.
Originally Posted by Steve M1911A1
I agree. So many people have knee-jerk reactions to guns without even thinking. It's an illogical fear that touches the emotions but bypasses the brain. You know that guns are tools and even a hammer can be used to build a house or whack your neighgbor.
I had to get over that myself at one time. I hope it doesn't take you getting shot to open her eyes. The wolf doesn't care what you think only what kind of claws you have.
Carry the Kimber Jet Protector pepper spray guns, you AND your wife. Then, after you mace the bastards, club them with your collapsible baton, disarm them and shoot them with their own weapon! Oh the glee!!!
Another option would to have an armed security guard on the property during business hours, if your wife is that anti gun.
Not to say you need to shoot someone, but a coupla years ago a liquor/convenience store near my old firestation got robbed by a guy at gunpoint...the guy was apparently ready to kill someone.
The store owner managed to get ahold of his gun and blew the attacker away. Needless to say, he has never stopped carrying, and NOBODY has tried to rob him since. Word spreads fast...all it takes is one or two bad people to realize you're not an easy target, and they will likely go elsewhere.
Maybe pu t a big NRA sticker on your store door?
Just something to keep in mind.
I was feeling like a smart-a** last night. Here's a more thoughtful response to your dilemma. I've been married eight years to a strong-willed woman. She hates that I have guns but lives with it as my choice. She refuses to carry or even shoot recreationally with me for that matter. For her personal defense I bought her the $41 Kimber Guardian Angel (now called Pepper Blaster) and she carries it with her everywhere.
Funny thing about women -they love and respect you and feel safe with you around but fail to ask the simple question posed by Lois Lane in the Superman movie, "Sure, you've got me, but who's got you?!" If you're going to protect your family and your interests you will have to make the decision to arm yourself for yourself. If it seems necessary, make no attempt to hide what you are doing. Let her know that you take your safety, your family's safety and your business's success seriously. Sure, you love her and respect her feelings but there are not enough police to be there when you need them most. They are mostly there to clean up after the mess has ended. Arm your wife with a less-than-lethal device (taser, pepper spray, etc.) then do what you must do.
Last edited by Pistolero; 03-20-2009 at 02:50 PM.
Reason: unclear spelling errors
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