i decided to let her read the thread.
ill be getting the handgun sometime soon.
Sounds like you're outta luck, it's her house, her rules.
By the way, the right thing to do is not to just tell her how it's going to be.
i decided to let her read the thread.
ill be getting the handgun sometime soon.
If she is afraid of you snapping and killing her it won't matter if you have a gun, knife or golf club. My guess is she has been hearing for years that guns are dangerous and evil and if you have a gun the chances of you getting hurt are almost 100%.
This isn't a battle you can win in a short time. Things to point out is the slow police response time if you call 911. That you are properly trained on using firearms and you are more than happy to train her.
My wife started out with, "Not in the house. Lock 'em in a safe in the garage."
Then, one day, we got held up at gunpoint. He didn't get anything, nor did he harm us. But it certainly changed her point of view.
Now we have guns in the house. Loaded guns.
I carry every day. She has a concealed-carry permit too.
And she's become a pretty good short-range shot.
Him: Either you accept me having guns in the house or I'm leaving.
Her: Is that a promise?
Someone has already said that women are wired diffrently. A good deal of them have some kind of knee jerk reaction that guns of any kind have a will of their own and will shoot you when you least exspect it!
Anyway the best thing you can do is educate her gently. A gun safety class and some low stress time at the range is a good place to start. If you can get her passed the knee jerk fear you are half way home. If you can gently get her to see that a gun can empower her to protect herself you've done your job.
Good luck and take it slow.
I am jumping in a little late on this one but felt I had to say something. With regards to the suggestions that you go look for a new girlfriend, that is not very helpful advice in my opinion. To each his/her own I guess. If my wife told me she did not want guns in the house, and we somehow could not work out a compromise, I would get rid of the guns. My relationship with my wife is much more important than any item I own.
That being said, it sounds like your girlfriend is willing to listen and work something out. This whole thing might just turn out to be a great way to discover how the two of you can work through a disagreement. Having different points of view is half the fun of a healthy relationship, in my opinion.
Sounds like a strong woman, not a pushover, def. take her to the range. I think if you can get her to the range, empower her, and get her to understand that it s only for you guys protection she ll come around. Just hope she doesnt have to be like my wife, and be in a need and not have situation to understand.
Afraid of you snapping? that kind of fear makes me wonder how she can feel safe around you at all. I mean..you can pick up something and beat someone to death. I guess you'll need to put some foam on all the blunt objects around the house.
AS my Dad used to say a woman spends half her life looking for the perfect man then spends the other half trying to change them
I would think with your training that you would be a person that would put a person at ease handling a firearm.
If it was me I'd ask her if she would be willing to take a training course with you. Maybe that would help her with understanding that with proper training that a hand gun can be handled in a safe manner. I personally find that most of the people that have an irrational fear of guns stems from a lack of understanding about them.
There is some sound advice in this thread. I'm glad the others answered before I got a chance. I was going to suggest that you have a friend stage a break-in while you guys were asleep to demonstrate how useless the gun is when it's 3 rooms away, lol.
i had the same issue with my live-in partner for 2 years now when i talked to her about my recent decision to get a handgun...
a lot of good points were made in this thread and like what most of the guys are saying..
(a) educate her on gun and gun safety
(b) take her out on the range and have her actually shoot a handgun
some tips on the range:
make it fun but all the time safe
shoot a smaller caliber and at a relatively close range (she'll lighten up when she's hitting the targets)
be supportive and compliment her on her shooting skills
stay away from silhouette targets so she does not associate guns with shooting people
take her out to dinner after the range (close on a really good note)
(c) women are more emotional while men tend to be more logical.
we see a handgun for what it is --- an awesome piece of engineering that also nurtures our basic instinct -- survival and protection..
while women (or some of them) tend to see a handgun as a means for promoting violence... (I'm from CA and I know we get crap for owning one!)
so try to steer the conversation on gun ownership away from the "media hype" and towards the values of gun ownership...
-definitely buy a gun safe (go as far as sharing the combination/key with her)
-keep a minimum amount of ammunition and loaded mags inside the house
-make it a point to bring her to the range regularly when you shoot as it helps to sell it to her "as an activity that both of you can do together -- QUALITY TIME"
-make her a part of the process -- go out and get a "his and hers" kind of thing...heck -- PINK MAGAZINES JUST FOR HER!!! (maybe a bit extreme but you get the point?)...shirts are the easiest and she'll be like putty in your hands afterwards...
Hope this helps....! My lady is a tough cookie but I eventually made her see the value of "my owning a gun" and she now always comes to me when I shoot (well at least to the trap range until my g34 comes in in about 2 weeks!)...
order the gun--dump her--get another girlfriend--problem solved.
Having a gun safe is a good idea. Leaving your gun in a gun safe is like having a car and locking it in the garage....yes garages are made to house cars, but cars are not made to live in the garage.
I will not give you women advice because I have only been married 28 years so I still have no idea how they work. However women want a man who is a man. Women who don't will end up lonely. A man should always respect his women........he just doesn't have to respect everything she says.
Get your gun and ask her to sit down with you while you give it the Out of the box cleaning, while you are getting to know it ......so is she. Show her how it works and that it is just a gun. Others have suggested a trip to the range, I can't agree more. More women have become gun fans simply by putting a couple mags down range then anything else I know. If she sees you handle it with respect and you have control and comand of it, if she is rational at all she will she it can do no harm on its own. If she loves you she will know you are not buying it to cause harm but to shoot on occasion and for protection. Good Luck......
This is a sign of what will come in your relationship. However how you go about changing her mind says as much about you as her trying to tell you what you can and can not have does about her.
this thread is almost a year old :P
My girlfriend was the one that talked me into getting off my butt and start the application process.
James, you always make me laugh so hard I just can't help it..You have a great sense of humour..I was going thru the thread and wondering from the dates what brought this thread up again..untill I read Bill's reply and then your comment. Iwas laughing so hard at the middle of the night, and had to supress my laugh so not to wake up the kids...
My wife is the same way. She did comprise and let me get a rifle last October and than in April she let me get a handgun which is in our room. She is not happy about it but she did comprimise. She did get pissed when I traded one of my bow's for another handgun 2 weeks ago. Said I can't have 3 guns inour house.