Joe you are caught between a rock and a hardplace with this issue. Personally, I would get the gun that you prefer in terms of comfort for shooting. A gun for self defense does not do you any good if the grip isn't just right. Don't settle for something that you aren't totally in love with. I have an XDSC40, it is my first pistol and I LOVE it. That being said, I do sympathize with you on the fact that it is a bit of a pain to decock the gun. I have not shot that particular Beretta, but they do build an extremely nice gun! Good luck with whatever you do decide to get.