Iowa, by Jeff Foxworhty.
My sister-in-law sent this to me from Iowa. I can certainly relate.
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Iowa ...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
live in Iowa . Not all of ‘em but yes, some.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
work there, you live in Iowa . Done that, many times.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Iowa .
Yep, did that in Alaska too.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number, you live in Iowa . ... and why not.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of DES MOINES for the weekend, you live in Iowa . Na, not much south of Des Moines unless you go to Florida.
If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in Iowa .
City boy here.
If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live
in Iowa . Not a cow but deer.
If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again,
you live in Iowa . That’s fer sure.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard
without flinching, you live in Iowa. Yep, that too.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you live in Iowa. Nope. Knew many who did though.
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them,
you live in Iowa. Yep, and she can change the tire too.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
live in Iowa. Again a big yep. Same here in Montana.
If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90 and everybody is
passing you, you live in Iowa . Boy that is a big for sure. People flip you off because you’re going to slow even though your cruise control is set on 85.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, you live in Iowa. Yep.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, you live in Iowa . OR the four seasons are DEER, DUCK /GOOSE, Pheasant, and Rabbit, you live in Iowa. Yep.
If you have more hours on your lawn mower, and snow blower than miles
on your car, you live in Iowa. Not me.
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Iowa. Yep. Today it was about thirty-three in my area and I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and comfortable.
If you understand these jokes, forward them to all your Iowa friends &
others, you actually have lived in Iowa. That’s me.