Need a Push?
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
Nice! Very funny! And after all that what the hell I'd go over and give him a push. He did say please. LOL
That one was good for a smile!
Here is one:
One day two blondes were out in the woods. The first blonde was on one side of a river, and the second on the opposite side. The first blonde wanted to get to the other side of the river and so she called to the other blonde for help. The second blonde had a flashlight and wanting to help, said, “I know! I’ll shine the light of my flashlight across the river and you can walk across on the beam.” The first blonde said, “ Are you crazy? I get half way across, and you turn off the light!”