Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Todd is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    0

    Talking The Philosophy of Ambiguity

    The Philosophy of Ambiguity

    1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

    2.
    ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.

    3.
    ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

    4.
    IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

    5.
    THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

    6.
    I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

    7.
    WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

    8.
    IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

    9.
    IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

    10.
    IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

    1
    1. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

    12.
    WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

    13.
    IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

    14.
    WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

    15.
    WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

    16.
    IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

    17.
    CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

    18.
    IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

    19.
    WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

    20.
    HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

    21.
    WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

    22.
    ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

    23.
    DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

    24.
    DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?

    25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?


    26.
    IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

    27.
    IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

    28.
    IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

    29.
    WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

    30.
    WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

    31.
    WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

    32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?


    33.
    IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?

    34.
    CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

  2. #2
    dosborn's Avatar
    dosborn is offline Member HGF Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Springfield, MO
    Posts
    882


    Reminds me of things Rodney Dangerfield would say.

  3. #3
    dondavis3's Avatar
    dondavis3 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Dallas / Fort Worth Texas Area
    Posts
    1,871
    +1 Todd


  4. #4
    kg333's Avatar
    kg333 is offline Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    717
    Ugh, those are awful.

    KG

  5. #5
    Todd is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by kg333 View Post
    Ugh, those are awful.

    KG
    I didn't write 'em, just passing on the info as a public service.

  6. #6
    tony pasley's Avatar
    tony pasley is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    clyde n.c.
    Posts
    2,145
    Where did you get the transcript of obama's last council meeting?

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

» Springfield Armory

» HGF Sponsors

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1