Ok so a guy that lives in my town decided to walk from the city to a local mountain 50min (by car) away through the forest. Bright idea huh! So my search and rescue team searched for him for two days with assistance form the coast guard. We didn't find anything! Well the guys walks out 5 DAYS LATER!
Funny part- It turns out this guy is a spokesmen for fruit loops.
During the shift we found out that we had to transport him to a mental hospital across state.
I decided it would be good to interview him on the way to find the flaws in our search. What does he say?
-Yeah my plane crashed in this mud! There was poisonous slugs and spiders and stuff!-
Me- How did you get out?
Him- I followed a duck and a snake! But the snake kept licking my ass hole and the duck wouldn't give me any eggs so I had to eat grass!
Him- yeah! There were these black helicopters also that were dropping anthrax spiders on me! When I was sleeping this poisons snail tea bagged my feet! Then someone shot me with a bb gun!
(Through the trip the "bb" would go through his body from his head to his balls making him shout things like "Now its in my balls!!! My balls man!!! )
Later (driving w/ no one talking or music on)
Him- Will you turn down that damn music!
Him- The damn governor has been following us the whole time and he wont turn down his music! WAIT!!! DO you see that laser beam! Do YOU SEE IT!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!
Oh and someone has been gassing his house for the past few nights (says he and every time he went into a room he would freak out saying that he smelt gas and we were trying to kill him
Gotta love it! :-D