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  1. 09-09-2008, 05:55 PM #1
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    bps3040
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    Home Invasion of the very strange

    Found this on another site...... quite speechless on this one. Would you be justified in shooting someone rubbing spices on you,lol. Or beating you with a sausage? People are strange.






    Man rubbed with spices, other beaten with sausage
    A stranger broke into a home east of Fresno, rubbed spices on the body of one of two men as they slept and used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he fled, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

    By The Fresno Bee
    FRESNO, Calif. — A stranger broke into a home east of Fresno, rubbed spices on the body of one of two men as they slept and used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he fled, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

    Lt. Ian Burrimond said a suspect was found in a nearby field and taken into custody. Deputies, he said, had no problem linking a suspect to the crime: "It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID."

    Arrested was a 22-year-old Fresno resident.

    The spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, were taken from the victims' kitchen.

    He said money that had been taken was recovered, but the sausage was discarded and eaten by a dog. "That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.

    Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company
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  3. 09-09-2008, 06:05 PM #2
    Todd
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    I just hope it really was an 8-inch sausage.
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  4. 09-09-2008, 06:32 PM #3
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    This story reeks of bullshit and I wouldn't be surprised if all three men were involved acting out some twisted homosexual fantasy that went terribly wrong.
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  5. 09-09-2008, 08:12 PM #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by bps3040 View Post
    Would you be justified in shooting someone rubbing spices on you,lol. Or beating you with a sausage?
    Short answer: Yes!
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  6. 09-09-2008, 09:30 PM #5
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    This story just points out why you should have a safe. It precludes the BG from getting the jump on you with your own sausage.
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  7. 09-09-2008, 09:36 PM #6
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    WTF?!
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  8. 09-09-2008, 10:02 PM #7
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  9. 09-10-2008, 02:45 AM #8
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    The spice rub was merely in preparation for barbecuing him.
    Hitting someone with a sausage serves to test that the tube's skin won't burst while it's being cooked.
    These are primitive rituals, heretofore unknown in the US but familiar to anthropologists everywhere.

    See: there's a simple explanation for everything.
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  10. 09-10-2008, 08:07 AM #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by unpecador View Post
    This story reeks of bullshit and I wouldn't be surprised if all three men were involved acting out some twisted homosexual fantasy that went terribly wrong.
    Or maybe something went terribly right???
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  11. 09-10-2008, 09:43 AM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by tekhead1219 View Post
    Or maybe something went terribly right???
    I thought the same thing but my pessimism took over.
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  12. 09-10-2008, 12:51 PM #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Steve M1911A1 View Post
    The spice rub was merely in preparation for barbecuing him.
    Hitting someone with a sausage serves to test that the tube's skin won't burst while it's being cooked.
    These are primitive rituals, heretofore unknown in the US but familiar to anthropologists everywhere.

    See: there's a simple explanation for everything.


    But why was he caught wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, and leaving behind his wallet with his ID. It gives the impression that he was already in a comfortable disposition. The article doesn't mention anything about his pants or shoes but I doubt this alleged burglar was lurking around in his underwear, carrying only his wallet.
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  13. 09-10-2008, 04:48 PM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by unpecador View Post

    But why was he caught wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, and leaving behind his wallet with his ID. It gives the impression that he was already in a comfortable disposition. The article doesn't mention anything about his pants or shoes but I doubt this alleged burglar was lurking around in his underwear, carrying only his wallet.
    It's all part of the ritual. The clothing worn is particularly important.
    For further details, see the definitive study of spice-rubbing and sausage-proofing rituals in: Frazer, James G.; The Golden Bough.

    (The Golden Bough is a serious study of primitive religions, first published in 1890. There's really nothing in it about spice-rubbing or sausage proofing. There is a lot in it about Voodoo, though.)
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  14. 09-10-2008, 05:44 PM #13
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    Interesting. I would imagine you have read books from authors such as H.P Lovecraft, Aleister Crowley, Anton LaVey, etc.?
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  15. 09-10-2008, 06:21 PM #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by unpecador View Post
    Interesting. I would imagine you have read books from authors such as H.P Lovecraft, Aleister Crowley, Anton LaVey, etc.?
    Lots of Lovecraft. Some Crowley.
    I don't read many novels any more, nor many short stories neither.
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