Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Dear Diary,

  1. #1
    john doe. is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    US
    Posts
    2,850

    Dear Diary,

    I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole 'Venus and Mars' thing. I've also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I've yet to figure out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

    One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me". I said: "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking: "What was her first clue?". I finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

    The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you.......she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was ok. She was so excited by all of this when she finally said: "I'm ready to go to the cash register".

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face......it went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while". And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man".

    I figure that I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2016.

  2. #2
    Steve M1911A1's Avatar
    Steve M1911A1 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Northwest Washington State
    Posts
    5,450
    My wife loved it!

  3. #3
    TOF's Avatar
    TOF
    TOF is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Northern Arizona
    Posts
    3,015
    Your guns are locked up I presume.


  4. #4
    john doe. is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    US
    Posts
    2,850
    Quote Originally Posted by TOF View Post
    Your guns are locked up I presume.

    My wife hasn't read this one yet.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Lexington
    Posts
    1,083
    That's AWESOME.

  6. #6
    Gunerd Guest
    Well...you got your point across though,huh? Come 2016 she'll have learned her lesson.

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

» Springfield Armory

» HGF Sponsors

Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1