A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As
she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't
done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As
the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his
hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with
sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it
out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The
cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed
softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's
owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just
to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been only $20, but what with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan ...